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buzzkill

August 16, 2007

today is day 2 of my caffeine-free life.

yes, i too had joined the millions of other people who had become dependent on coffee. every day i’d come to work and make a small pot. i’d fill my cup about 3/4 of the way and take all day to drink it. i thought i wasn’t drinking that much so there’s no way i’d become addicted. i also thought that if i sipped from it throughout the day it wouldn’t affect me the same way guzzling one or more cups would.

however, i started to notice on weekends when i wouldn’t get that caffeine by a certain point, i’d get a headache. i’d drink coffee, and within an hour my headache was gone. those of you that know me from long ago also know that i’ve battled with chronic headaches and migraines for a long time, up until i went vegan. the last thing i need to do is provoke more headaches.

so, yesterday was the first day i went without coffee. i spent the day at UC Davis with Sprout Goat, who was getting a re-check performed. i figured i was out of the office and wouldn’t be tempted by the sights and smells, the normal coffee triggers. it worked, for the most part, but by around 5pm the headache came, unrelenting.
it lasted through the night, and i had to take many, many things just so i could sleep comfortably. when i woke up, the headache was still there, just not as powerful. as the morning wore on, the headache sort of wore off, and i thought, “hey, maybe i finally beat this thing!”

today, ’round 10am or so, i got another headache. not a bad one. but it’s there, taunting me, begging me to drink something caffeinated. oh no, i have not given in! i took some ibuprofen and have been trying to keep myself distracted from the beckoning can of coffee.

that can of coffee i normally stash in my desk drawer, but today i moved it to the freezer so i could no longer smell it as i sat here at my desk. i also stashed my coffee cup so that i couldn’t see it. i mean, i literally had to hide these things from my nose and eyes. i’ve never had to do something like that before. it’s a strange feeling! i’ve heard of folks having to hide sweets and things like that, but a coffee mug?!

earlier this morning, i saw my coffee cup sitting on my desk out of the corner of my eye, and i literally heard voices. i swear it! they were saying, “just one sip, one tiny sip.”

my body aches. i just want coffee so bad. so, so bad.

i really hope i get through this and never touch a cup of coffee again. maybe i’ll just touch the cup. just one touch. c’mere, little cup. i won’t hurt you.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Ryan M. permalink
    August 16, 2007 9:55 pm

    I used to be a caffeine addict so far as diet coke would allow ;-) Anyway, just a single cup of coffee after 1pm can prevent me from going to sleep 9 hours later! So that’s what you have to look forward to if you beat this.

    The baristas at The Naked Lounge in Chico probably think I’m weird ordering everything with decaf… it isn’t completely caffeine free but it doesn’t ruin sleep or cause my nerves to go out of whack. There is such thing as good tasting decaf, and they have it IMO.

    I think there may be something wrong if someone needs to have caffeine in order to function. Caffeine masks that problem. Find its roots, tear it out. Maybe it’s a low energy breakfast, sleeping disorders, or dislike for the day’s work, etc. (just examples, I’m not trying to diagnose anything here!).

    But, coffee has its benefits, and decaf seems to retain most of them. Seems more likely that somehow it can help prevent Alzheimer’s.

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